If I could escape...

The weather was nice.
The sun was out.
People were walking around without jackets.
It was truly a beautiful day.
Things were looking up.

There is always a but in there somewhere.

Why am i so weak that i let simple messages bring me to tears? Why am i so ashamed of crying? Am i pathetic? Weak? Or just stubborn? As i sat in my cubicle today, reading the message, i felt a tear at the corner of my eye. I had to hide it. I couldnt let my boss see me in a moment of weakness. I sucked it up, dried the tear, and went back to deleting phone numbers. The world continued to turn...

Why did it all come to this? I spent the majority of my high school preventing this. All my work, and i learned absolutely nothing. Why am i so afraid to fight? Fighting is suppost to help, but it will just bring painful reminders all the time.

I finally told her today. Her reaction? I honestly don't know. But she needed to know. After all, she is my best friend. I hope she understands why it took me so long. I hope she still loves me. I hope this wont change anything.

Lastly, thank you all. I appreciate all your helpful words. I needed them. I am going to open up about everything now. Be prepared for many posts to come. I have so much built up inside me, no wonder why i was turning to self destruction. I miss you all and love you all. Thank you for everything.